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Writer's pictureShane Nocus

Me First - Three Steps to Serving Others

Are you someone who feels like you are always giving to others? Bending over backwards to make clients and customers happy? Do you do everything you can to try and make things work for everyone involved? I’ve always been a self-sacrificing person, probably to an unhealthy measure. I am starting to realize, however, that at times this level of self-sacrifice hinders myself, my family, my business, and others.


The Art of Leadership is saying No, not saying Yes. It is very easy to say yes…

Tony Blair


While traveling on a commercial airline recently, I was gripped by the pre-flight instructions of the flight attendant, “in the event of an emergency, air masks will drop from overhead; place your own air mask over your mouth before attempting to assist others.” I’ve heard that instruction dozens of times, but I never really thought about it. I’m of no value to the people around me if I’m unconscious on the floor. Seems logical, right?


Let’s apply that simple concept to the rest of our life for a moment. I want my life, my relationships, and my business to serve others for years to come. If I sacrifice my healthy habits (proper diet, sleep, and exercise) to cater to others, but end up sick, unhealthy, and without energy, am I really creating sustainable value for anyone? If I sacrifice sound financial wisdom to allow someone to have what they think they want, but there isn’t money to pay for what is needed, am I really benefitting them at all? If I put other people’s pop-up tasks ahead of the work for my deadline and fail to keep a commitment, am I creating value?



I see this happen all too often in the construction industry. When a company is just starting out, the leader makes all the decisions. He is the craftsman, estimator, project manager, purchasing agent, accountant, human resources, and marketing department all in one. As his company grows, more and more people require his guidance. If he doesn’t take care of himself, and his priorities, he will soon not be in business at all. The very people that distracted him from his priorities will be hurt in the process. If a business owner does not transition from manager to leader, then he will not succeed. Maybe the decline starts out just as being overwhelmed, not keeping his own personal commitments and making mistakes. Over time it leads to loss of reputation, frustrated employees, not being able to do a job well, and eventually failing at business.


The tyranny of urgency can prevent you from living a life of meaning and significance.

Paul TP Wong


Obviously you need to take care of you to be able to serve others. Here are three things you can do to make sure that you, and your business, do not end up face down on the crashing airplane floor: 1. Clearly define your target customer. You cannot get caught up in trying to help everyone; 2. Designate specific times to work on tasks uninterrupted – if you do not have time to commit to it, you do not have time to take it on. I know it sounds easier than it is, but if you want your business to succeed, you will have to find focused time, and this means training those around you to wait – or empowering them to decide for themselves. 3. Develop your leadership as your business grows. You will have to empower people to make decisions for you. You can bet that Steve Jobs did not make every decision at Apple; He focused on what he knew. John D. Rockefeller said, “Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great!” By empowering others, you are setting everyone up for growth.


I still believe that we should esteem others higher than ourselves, love mercy, live humbly, and give preference to others on inconsequential matters; but there are many times that we should be more disciplined to put our own needs, responsibilities, and commitments ahead of others because it creates value and ultimately helps us serve others better.

What changes can you make in your life that will create value and ultimately help you serve others better?



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